in like a lion

Tonight the winds are howling, and its going to be that way for the next few days according to the weather guru's. I like windy days, when I can be out in it and its not freezing cold. Not a fan of windy freezing nights though.

This morning I did some babysitting at the office. A worker from several states away was here to pick up some kids coming back into custody on an ICPC placement. The kids were placed with dad for a couple of months, but last week he was picked up by INS. The worker shook his head over having to move these kids again, but frankly I was a bit underwhelmed at the cavalier attitude of placeing kids here or there, where ever in order to close the case. Granted I don't know the whole case history, but I've never been afraid to make snap judgements (just ask my mom). I know its wrong to move kids around so much. He indicated he had been working this case for over a year and I was suprised that they would try such a risky placement, granted they didn't know that this state was really cracking down. I know things are different in every state, I feel bad for the families stuck in this situation, but the kids are the ones who suffer the most. These kids were attached to each other, which is good, but they most likely have attachment issues (worker hinted as much) due to the neglect and frequent caregiver changes. 3 and 5 years old and cute as buttons. I know that if they were staying in our state we would be able to place in an adoptive home quick as anything. Wonder if they will wait and try again if the dad makes it back to the US? Wonder if they will try another undocumented family member. Wonder how many homes the kids will go to. Wonder how much longer they will wait until the kids aren't as adoptable (hard but true the younger, cuter ones are easier to place), and have more issues. The worker that picked them up to bring to our office to await the out of state worker said they weren't upset at all at leaving their aunt's home this morning. I don't know that placeing these kids with relatives is as important as finding them permamency now.

I also feel guilty about my kids. Jake and Celia. They've been in a number of homes too. However, I know they will either end up reunifying or being adopted by grandma in a years time. I feel bad about Little Guy and Sister, they don't have permanence. They will be on DSPD when they age out but what kind of life is that for them? Maybe I'm being too discriminatory about adoptive homes. They don't get a lot of hits, but then a failed placement would be worse, right?

The licenser has concerns about Celest's posible adoptive placement. She was suprised that we would place a kid with issues there. I'm suprised too. I'm really not sure what to do about this. Not sure what to do for any of my kids, honestly. But I feel like I've got to try what my training, limited experience, and most of all inspiration/intuition/gut/whatever you call it, guides me to.

Suzie's honeymoon is over and the real fun is begining. That case is giong to be draining! I hope that I have more energy tomorrow to tackle the things I've been putting off and find joy somewhere.