tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8741044909128961634.post5744360458647870613..comments2023-10-18T02:12:21.357-07:00Comments on Musings of an Evil Social Worker: May alreadyevil social workerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05771316439711807068noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8741044909128961634.post-35121026545763944122010-06-25T08:36:57.279-07:002010-06-25T08:36:57.279-07:00Hello, I was a foster child for much of my childho...Hello, I was a foster child for much of my childhood, and my hatred of Social Workers has been deep and abiding. It always seemed they were searching for a cause, a way to view themselves better, and always believed that foster parents were a better choice than my drunk dad, or my borderline crazy mom. They were wrong, again and again, and it caused much pain. Explaining this to them only led to rationalizations and references to teachings which I intuitively understood to be incorrect. (I was tested with an IQ in the lower 200s at age 13.)<br /><br />However, that was a long time ago, and your blog helps me see the other side. Although I still think social workers are mostly delusional and interested in their self-image more than practical solutions, I can see hard-working, caring person here. My apologies for my generalized feelings, because you obviously don't deserve it. You're trying to a very hard job, and getting the inevitable lack of gratitude that comes along. As a former foster child, let me say, "thanks". Not because my social workers' made good choices for me, but because I appreciate your sincerity and strength of character. May there be more of you.<br /><br />If I can be so bold as to offer some advice, first, let me start with a simple psych principle: adult behavior does not change without significant life events. If you want someone to change, "gentle" will NEVER work. Neither will talk of any sort. The decisions, and ideas, have to originate in the client's head, not yours. Something on the order of bootcamp might. (Worked for me!)<br /><br />Despite what you may have learned, bad love is much better than no love. Don't take kids from their parents unless their actual, practical, safety is the reason. Neglect above the age of 10 or so is not a safety issue, again opposing what your education tells you. If you must take kids from parents, see that they're returned as soon as behavior improves! Remember, these people, by their very natures, have weak acceptable delays for gratification. Slow positive reinforcement is NO positive reinforcement.<br /><br />Finally, accept this: Everything you learned in the social sciences is suspect. Every, single thing - because your teachers were mostly people with weak natural empathy, who "created" their own artificial and intellectualized "empathy". Start conducting your own experiments on what works; compare your training to your experience. Guess which one I think you should trust?<br /><br />Please. Save some children the pain that social workers caused me.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01197994904328811827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8741044909128961634.post-68263560166939500182009-05-05T08:04:00.000-07:002009-05-05T08:04:00.000-07:00saw your comments on another blog as well. I was ...saw your comments on another blog as well. I was once a foster care counselor...i.e. social worker. The children we work with change us...forever. The one I think of most often is TJ...she was a very troubled young lady that just wanted to be listened to. as her sw I did......but I was told by senior staff I was not her advocate and that TJ was just trouble...most of the SW's in her case just didnt want to deal with her.....but underneath all her bravado was a little girl who wanted to be loved. I wish I knew where TJ was today...... I did enjoy my job.....working with the kids......but the place I worked did NOT do the best for the kids and put kids in homes that were not uh.....shall we say up to par..... and despite me trying to change things.......I finally had to resign.......because no one was listening. After I left a child was killed due to unsafe habits...i.e. letting a child ride unrestrained and there was an accident...the powers that be knew this was going on and would not stop it......still the courts did not sanction anyone. in any case..... I remember all to well the massive case loads, the case plans, the court dates, supervised visits, visits to fp homes etc etc.....and never enough time.......to stretch to every need the kids had. but those kids on my case load......I remember every one of them. From TJ to little baby who needed a heart transplant to the only two children that were sucessfully reunified. and to failed adoptive placments...because of poor paper work etc etc .and one succesful adoptive placement. Those children changed me and I still pray for themAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04633869398284659614noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8741044909128961634.post-8929835870415255462009-05-04T12:38:00.000-07:002009-05-04T12:38:00.000-07:00Hello, I found you through your comment on another...Hello, I found you through your comment on another blog. It's nice to get a social workers perspective on things.Deborahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04798124104168438303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8741044909128961634.post-71838472166513491292009-05-03T23:32:00.000-07:002009-05-03T23:32:00.000-07:00Hoping you feel much better really soon.Hoping you feel much better really soon.Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16146320008307628429noreply@blogger.com